Isnin, 25 Mei 2009


This week had been a freakin' tiring week. Lots of thigs to do, and lots of things to settle with. I can't believe everything came crumpling down the hill all at once! There are exam to face, feelings to compose, assignments to fulfil, extra classes to attend and duties to be done. I'm not trying to run away from problems here, but I think I've had it enough!


YES! No doubt about it though. There's nothing that I could do to cover it up. Chemistry papers were due last Friday and Saturday. MY GOD! It's killin' me! I was like darn blur whenever I tried to understand the concepts of the lessons. DUH!! In the end it made me feel kind of SILLY.

So, yes I've got to admit that I'm a bit dimwit about CHEMISTRY. Read the question paper, and a BIG question mark popped out of my 'spacious' blurred head. OKAY! I know, i'm going to fail this paper...AGAIN! But hey! I'm still trying to make everything well and better time to time. Just need more time. (BUT TIME SURELY FLIES FAST!!!) and i'm not that good in time management. Let's just pray to ALLAH I don't get 0%!!! 15-20% at least. (oooohhhh...pathetic!!). That's what happen when you concentrate on a couple of subjects all at the same millisecond and think too much, plus having flu while sitting for the paper.

p/s: pray hard izzie...pray hard. Chemistry paper made me sleepy...


OH NO! How can i be so careless or to describe it better, STUPID! I thought today's paper would be Math T paper 2. But hey! Guess what, it's MATHS T PAPER 1!! God, should I say another bad luck or what?! And all my mind was thinking about for the whole weekend was... "I'VE GOT TO STUDY MATH T PAPER2 THIS WEKEND!!" and hell yeah i kind of did. But darn! It's the wrong paper! What freakin' thing has hapened to me these days??

I came to school, acting like i'm ready for my so-called Math T 2 papers. Sent my bags to the class, chat a bit with my besties, went to the Hall to sign in and then I saw something. S.K.'s holding a paper 1 notes. So, i asks him, coz it's kind of funny seeing other people reading paper 1 notes when you're supposed to do paper 2

. And guess again....yerp, i'm the one fooled. I 'got' the wrong timetable set in mind.

Luckily I'm not as blurred as I did when reading the Chemistry papers. At least i know how to do a couple or two questions. A fair share i hope but I know I've got to do better in the second paper this Thursday.



Probably coz of the tense that i'm feeling these few weeks. 'AT LAST' i'm sick. ehehehe...You know what, it's fun sometimes to have someone who would care to ask how you're doing, especially when you're sick or just plain tired.

That's exactly what I wanted. Not to ask for sympathy. Na'ah...NOPE. But hey! It's a girls intuition. (err...did i get that part right?) So, yes, i've been heart broken by the mere fact (which i supposed i knew already!) that the 'guy of my dream' a.k.a. 'my knight-in-the-shining-armour' went out with another girl. OKAY, it's not as if he's going out with me or whatsoever. Freakin' yeah i'm jealous. Who wouldn't be?? So, i ignored him and all..blah blah blah. Who knows, in the end, he's soo sweet that i couldn't endure to just say "HI". A simple, merely a word but yet a word "HI"...ok...not so much of a "HI" it's just a smile (but i dunno if it's sincere or otherwise though...ngahahaha).

When I said I think my flu is getting worst...he said something like..."you've must been playing in the rain thia afternoon.It rained heavily.did you?" WHOAH!! so sweet!ok...ok...i might have been too excited...let me finish it first...ehehe...

so yeah, he was like. "you should have some rest you know..." and so i said it's's just a mere flu. i think i'll be ok...but somehow the flu got worse the night and the next day. we did sort of like texting each other and all. he told me to take good care of my self, take meds and all, rest a lot, drink plain water and get well soon. ok, so i was just so flattered that he's that concerned. i know any friends would say that...but NONE OF MY FRIENDS DID! besties in class DID. thanks dearies!

so when i told him i was in the car on my way home from class having a bun as a lunch instead, he was like..."why buns?". so i told him i felf full and said i don't feel like eating jokingly said that i'm on a diet.hahaha! so he replied, saying that i shouldn't do that, coz i'm sick.needs more energy and all and needs food to get better. SOOO SWEEEETTT!!!!. thanks 'my knight-in-the-shining-armour'.

OK2...i don't want to be so bitchy and all by stealing other girls boyfriend. I'm not that kind of person, believe it or not. I may be 'close' to a couple of boys, and even had a crush on them. But i wouldn't want to be THE other girl. I've been through that already, well, not THE OTHER GIRL, but as THE GIRLFRIEND. I surely did get my heart hurt so bad that i tried not to think of my ex soo much that it hurts more than it should've been. Plus, he didn't even say sorry and meant it for what he as the girl. But no worries, I'm not a girl with THE DEADLY GRUDGE on people. Silly as it may seemed, but i'd prefer to take things seriuosly but not evil. Like my feelings, it's serious, but I know my boundaries.

I'm ok if he just admits that he's out with another girl. But why say she's just a friend when your best friend says she's your girl? was it me that got it wrongly, was it you who sort of like covering your cunning womanizer track or plainly just coz you're secretive. or was it your friends that got it all wrong about you. Hey, the answer were all up to you. You don't explain, I don't complain. But hell no i'm gonna be THE OTHER GIRL if this is what the relationship is heading.

But i HAVE to admit...i do like you. But that's just it. A CRUSH. Only ALLAH know where this is taking us.


ok2...i am a BIG fan of VANILLA soft ice-cream. i am deadly addicted to it... AND he knew about it. A window-shopping evening out with my parents was all that it takes for a mouth watering early dinner of CHICKEN TEPPANYAKI set and yummy SUGARBUN's vanilla ice cream at THE SPRING.

THANKS mama for the long-sleeve pink (huhue...) Blue Toms shirt! Not to forget daddy for helping me picked it. guys were great!


I hope i'm not that late foe wishing this..i'll wish again later when i git the time to do so...but for the time being...




S.R.K ST.MARY'S KUCHING (1997-2002)


~::love owes::~


Jumaat, 22 Mei 2009


Wah! Lama sungguh aku biarkan blog nih bersawang kan...selalu jugak aku tergerak hati nak update blog nih.banyak yan aku kira nak kongsikan kat sini.selama beberapa bulan nih memang banyak events yang aku rasa penting dan menarik.tapi setiap kali aku nak update, mesti ada saja yang ganggu.kalau tak pun, aku hilang mood nak update bila aku memang dah duduk kat depan PC nih.'untung' la malam nih aku tension giler sebab tak dapat nak study.aku tau, sepatutnya aku pegi blaja untuk exam esok.tapi aku langsung tak dapat nak tumpuan perhatian terus! YA ALLAH, kenapa nih??

semalam aku start ngan paper P.A. 2.ALHAMDULILLAH, kira ok larh jugak.hari nih, aku seat untuk paper Chemistry 2 pulak.tapi apa yang aku revise tak masuk kepaLa pun!adoh mak.......macam mana nih.nanti duduk kat meja...tup2, blank pulak kepala otak aku.tak ke naya?!?!

dua minggu belakangan nih, macam2 jadi kat aku.tension nyer!!!aku nak luahkan, tak ada siapa yang dapat selami hati aku masa nih. "teman tapi mesra" aku dah lama tak hubungi aku lagi. busy ke apa ke?aku tak tau.yang aku tau, semenjak dia dah 'berhijrah' nih, dia langsung tak ada sms aku lagi. "sahabat hidup dan matiku" pulak skarang nih memang banyak masalah jugak. kesian larh aku nak ganggu dia.nanti tak cukup ngan masalah dia sendiri, aku pulak bebankan dia ngan masalah aku nih. "kekasih gelapku" pulak, aku tak tau nak cakap apa. sebenarnya dialah yang menyebabkan aku skarang nih bermasalah, walopun dia tak tau semua nih berpunca daripada dia. tension nya aku!!!!!


minggu lepas memang aku bermasalah. sudahlah aku asyik datang lambat ke sekolah. mana ada Ketua Pengawas macam aku nih! YA ALLAH...apa larh nak jadik kat aku nih?? bila aku dalam kelas, aku rasa letih sesangat sedangkan aku tak buat apa2.ngantok sesangt sedangknaku dah tido lebih daripada cukup malam sebelumnya. nasib baik aku bukan sorang2...ada gakk bebudak len yang macam aku masa tuh.nak tumpukan perhatian kat dalam kelas aku rasa terseksa lakk.rasa macam benda yang keluar daripada mulut cikgu tuh berterbangan kat sekeliling kepala aku nih. nak masuk, tapi processor otak aku tgh busy...lagging.duh!

kenapa larh aku rasa macam tak bedaya sungguh belakangan nih?? kalau nak kata tak rehat, tipu la. rehat aku lebih daripada cukup da. mungkin sebab aku fikir banyak sangat kot.tapi apa plak yang aku fikir??? pertandingan apa semua kan dah habis??


minggu nih, hati pulak yang terluka. adohs....tak cukup ngan perkara2 yang buat aku pening, hati pulak buat hal. memang larh aku banyak gelak, banyak senyum belakangan nih, tapi takder sorang pon yang tau aku sebenarnya menangis kat dalam. orang bulleh nampak luar, tapi luka di hati siapa yang tau???

kalau nak crita sal hati nih, sampai bila2 pon tak habis.aku wat stakat nih dulu...nanti aku update lagi.mata dah ngantok, tapi aku masih legi kena doakan aku larh esok!