Ya Allah. I don't know what happened to me recently. I mean, my spirit is so low now that I don't even feel like reading or doing anything. This totally sucks, and to make things 'better' it THE BIG EXAM WEEKS. Supposedly a very crucial time for me to get serious in my revisions. But, na'ah. Don't get me wrong. It's not like I'm totally abandoning everything, like I just don't care about studies and all. It's just that, I felt so burdened with all these stuff that I do sometimes felt like I'm going NUTS! All that I did in these couple of days were, just sitting around, lazily watch TV, flip to different channels as much as I can. Plus, I ate A LOT of sugary food, yes3, more cholesterol being dumped into my belly to be churned and soon, make me FAT!
I told myself the other night that i want to do some chores around the house, including cleaning my room. It's a mess now though coz most of the time i do felt helpless in a way that i couldn't arrange everything and put stuff back to their own respective places. Sheesh! I do felt like a useless bum.Owh MY GOD, i do hope that my room looks like this...
But i still love my room though. Especially with a hand painted 'skies' that my dad did all by himself. That's another advantage of being a Museum Curator's daughter, the paintings we're always exclusive for you. Talking bout bedrooms, mine was just simple typical teens room. I appreciate the personal touches that my dad did (i helped him too!). We painted the whole room ourselves, and yes, no need for a contractor or an interior designer to do so. (No offense, i DO love those works of interior designers they just have the immaculate designs for each and every styles they have) My bed was an iron Double-Decker, which my mom and dad bought when i go razy with that type of beds when I'm still a seven years old. However, only the bottom part is occupied...since I'm the only one!HAHA.
But though it may be regular or typical, it is complete with all the things that i would need. From a simple side table that my dad build, to electronics gadgets. I just love being in this roms that i spent most of my times nowadays sitting here and just think or daydream.That's why i am now so desperate to tidy up my room.Actualy, I partialy cleaned and tidied it all up a few weeks ago. But that's for only half of the room. Now i need to do the other half. Which is the tricky part, cos the other half would be my so-called study table and book rack. OH NO! A lot of work to do, and i haven't even started anything yet aside from bringing more and more stuff in! Even the clean laundries were still in the basket waiting to be folded and put into the closet. HAIYAH!!
>WALKING AWAY FROM THE LAPPY SO THAT I CAN GET BACK TO WORK...WELL, TRYING TO!<
Syukran, at last, i got this blog edited and updated.haha...this is what boredom made me. so i spent the night hunting for some blog skins and all.it's nice tho! but i still need to learn to adjust some parts.but anyway, hope you guys like it.
i put some songs as well. mind me, but two of them were the soundtracks of P/S I Love You.my fave movie of all times! ahaha. well, along with other movies.
ok2...so this is the sign that i'll be back.i dont' know hen yet.but surely as soon as possible. GOD, doing html really tiring for a first timer huh.
so, tomorrow is another day.insya-ALLAH, i'll be able to do some house chores AND THEN, do some revision. yepp...got it right, my papers ain't completely done yet. i still have to sit for 3 papers. all of then next week. but hey! one paper sat means another paper less! ahaha... pray for me!
This week had been a freakin' tiring week. Lots of thigs to do, and lots of things to settle with. I can't believe everything came crumpling down the hill all at once! There are exam to face, feelings to compose, assignments to fulfil, extra classes to attend and duties to be done. I'm not trying to run away from problems here, but I think I've had it enough!
NO CHEMISTRY WITH CHEMISTRY
YES! No doubt about it though. There's nothing that I could do to cover it up. Chemistry papers were due last Friday and Saturday. MY GOD! It's killin' me! I was like darn blur whenever I tried to understand the concepts of the lessons. DUH!! In the end it made me feel kind of SILLY.
So, yes I've got to admit that I'm a bit dimwit about CHEMISTRY. Read the question paper, and a BIG question mark popped out of my 'spacious' blurred head. OKAY! I know, i'm going to fail this paper...AGAIN! But hey! I'm still trying to make everything well and better time to time. Just need more time. (BUT TIME SURELY FLIES FAST!!!) and i'm not that good in time management. Let's just pray to ALLAH I don't get 0%!!! 15-20% at least. (oooohhhh...pathetic!!). That's what happen when you concentrate on a couple of subjects all at the same millisecond and think too much, plus having flu while sitting for the paper.
p/s: pray hard izzie...pray hard. Chemistry paper made me sleepy...
CAN'T WE JUST SWITH THE TIMETABLES?????
OH NO! How can i be so careless or to describe it better, STUPID! I thought today's paper would be Math T paper 2. But hey! Guess what, it's MATHS T PAPER 1!! God, should I say another bad luck or what?! And all my mind was thinking about for the whole weekend was... "I'VE GOT TO STUDY MATH T PAPER2 THIS WEKEND!!" and hell yeah i kind of did. But darn! It's the wrong paper! What freakin' thing has hapened to me these days??
I came to school, acting like i'm ready for my so-called Math T 2 papers. Sent my bags to the class, chat a bit with my besties, went to the Hall to sign in and then I saw something. S.K.'s holding a paper 1 notes. So, i asks him, coz it's kind of funny seeing other people reading paper 1 notes when you're supposed to do paper 2
. And guess again....yerp, i'm the one fooled. I 'got' the wrong timetable set in mind.
Luckily I'm not as blurred as I did when reading the Chemistry papers. At least i know how to do a couple or two questions. A fair share i hope but I know I've got to do better in the second paper this Thursday.
THE FLU AND I
DON'T WORRY. I'M CLEARED OF H1N1 OR WHATEVER YOU GUYS WERE THINKING ABOUT!
Probably coz of the tense that i'm feeling these few weeks. 'AT LAST' i'm sick. ehehehe...You know what, it's fun sometimes to have someone who would care to ask how you're doing, especially when you're sick or just plain tired.
That's exactly what I wanted. Not to ask for sympathy. Na'ah...NOPE. But hey! It's a girls intuition. (err...did i get that part right?) So, yes, i've been heart broken by the mere fact (which i supposed i knew already!) that the 'guy of my dream' a.k.a. 'my knight-in-the-shining-armour' went out with another girl. OKAY, it's not as if he's going out with me or whatsoever. Freakin' yeah i'm jealous. Who wouldn't be?? So, i ignored him and all..blah blah blah. Who knows, in the end, he's soo sweet that i couldn't endure to just say "HI". A simple, merely a word but yet a word "HI"...ok...not so much of a "HI" it's just a smile (but i dunno if it's sincere or otherwise though...ngahahaha).
When I said I think my flu is getting worst...he said something like..."you've must been playing in the rain thia afternoon.It rained heavily.did you?" WHOAH!! so sweet!ok...ok...i might have been too excited...let me finish it first...ehehe...
so yeah, he was like. "you should have some rest you know..." and so i said it's nothing.it's just a mere flu. i think i'll be ok...but somehow the flu got worse the night and the next day. we did sort of like texting each other and all. he told me to take good care of my self, take meds and all, rest a lot, drink plain water and get well soon. ok, so i was just so flattered that he's that concerned. i know any friends would say that...but NONE OF MY FRIENDS DID! allright...allright...my besties in class DID. thanks dearies!
so when i told him i was in the car on my way home from class having a bun as a lunch instead, he was like..."why buns?". so i told him i felf full and said i don't feel like eating jokingly said that i'm on a diet.hahaha! so he replied, saying that i shouldn't do that, coz i'm sick.needs more energy and all and needs food to get better. SOOO SWEEEETTT!!!!. thanks 'my knight-in-the-shining-armour'.
OK2...i don't want to be so bitchy and all by stealing other girls boyfriend. I'm not that kind of person, believe it or not. I may be 'close' to a couple of boys, and even had a crush on them. But i wouldn't want to be THE other girl. I've been through that already, well, not THE OTHER GIRL, but as THE GIRLFRIEND. I surely did get my heart hurt so bad that i tried not to think of my ex soo much that it hurts more than it should've been. Plus, he didn't even say sorry and meant it for what he did...so as the girl. But no worries, I'm not a girl with THE DEADLY GRUDGE on people. Silly as it may seemed, but i'd prefer to take things seriuosly but not evil. Like my feelings, it's serious, but I know my boundaries.
I'm ok if he just admits that he's out with another girl. But why say she's just a friend when your best friend says she's your girl? was it me that got it wrongly, was it you who sort of like covering your cunning womanizer track or plainly just coz you're secretive. or was it your friends that got it all wrong about you. Hey, the answer were all up to you. You don't explain, I don't complain. But hell no i'm gonna be THE OTHER GIRL if this is what the relationship is heading.
But i HAVE to admit...i do like you. But that's just it. A CRUSH. Only ALLAH know where this is taking us.
EASY ON: ICE CREAM!
ok2...i am a BIG fan of VANILLA soft ice-cream. i am deadly addicted to it... AND he knew about it. A window-shopping evening out with my parents was all that it takes for a mouth watering early dinner of CHICKEN TEPPANYAKI set and yummy SUGARBUN's vanilla ice cream at THE SPRING.
THANKS mama for the long-sleeve pink (huhue...) Blue Toms shirt! Not to forget daddy for helping me picked it. EHEHE...you guys were great!
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY AND TEACHER'S DAY!!
I hope i'm not that late foe wishing this..i'll wish again later when i git the time to do so...but for the time being...
Wah! Lama sungguh aku biarkan blog nih bersawang kan...selalu jugak aku tergerak hati nak update blog nih.banyak yan aku kira nak kongsikan kat sini.selama beberapa bulan nih memang banyak events yang aku rasa penting dan menarik.tapi setiap kali aku nak update, mesti ada saja yang ganggu.kalau tak pun, aku hilang mood nak update bila aku memang dah duduk kat depan PC nih.'untung' la malam nih aku tension giler sebab tak dapat nak study.aku tau, sepatutnya aku pegi blaja untuk exam esok.tapi aku langsung tak dapat nak tumpuan perhatian terus! YA ALLAH, kenapa nih??
semalam aku start ngan paper P.A. 2.ALHAMDULILLAH, kira ok larh jugak.hari nih, aku seat untuk paper Chemistry 2 pulak.tapi apa yang aku revise tak masuk kepaLa pun!adoh mak.......macam mana nih.nanti duduk kat meja...tup2, blank pulak kepala otak aku.tak ke naya?!?!
dua minggu belakangan nih, macam2 jadi kat aku.tension nyer!!!aku nak luahkan, tak ada siapa yang dapat selami hati aku masa nih. "teman tapi mesra" aku dah lama tak hubungi aku lagi. busy ke apa ke?aku tak tau.yang aku tau, semenjak dia dah 'berhijrah' nih, dia langsung tak ada sms aku lagi. "sahabat hidup dan matiku" pulak skarang nih memang banyak masalah jugak. kesian larh aku nak ganggu dia.nanti tak cukup ngan masalah dia sendiri, aku pulak bebankan dia ngan masalah aku nih. "kekasih gelapku" pulak, aku tak tau nak cakap apa. sebenarnya dialah yang menyebabkan aku skarang nih bermasalah, walopun dia tak tau semua nih berpunca daripada dia. tension nya aku!!!!!
PART I: AKU NGAN PELAJARAN
minggu lepas memang aku bermasalah. sudahlah aku asyik datang lambat ke sekolah. mana ada Ketua Pengawas macam aku nih! YA ALLAH...apa larh nak jadik kat aku nih?? bila aku dalam kelas, aku rasa letih sesangat sedangkan aku tak buat apa2.ngantok sesangt sedangknaku dah tido lebih daripada cukup malam sebelumnya. nasib baik aku bukan sorang2...ada gakk bebudak len yang macam aku masa tuh.nak tumpukan perhatian kat dalam kelas aku rasa terseksa lakk.rasa macam benda yang keluar daripada mulut cikgu tuh berterbangan kat sekeliling kepala aku nih. nak masuk, tapi processor otak aku tgh busy...lagging.duh!
kenapa larh aku rasa macam tak bedaya sungguh belakangan nih?? kalau nak kata tak rehat, tipu la. rehat aku lebih daripada cukup da. mungkin sebab aku fikir banyak sangat kot.tapi apa plak yang aku fikir??? pertandingan apa semua kan dah habis??
PART II: AKU DAN HATI
minggu nih, hati pulak yang terluka. adohs....tak cukup ngan perkara2 yang buat aku pening, hati pulak buat hal. memang larh aku banyak gelak, banyak senyum belakangan nih, tapi takder sorang pon yang tau aku sebenarnya menangis kat dalam. orang bulleh nampak luar, tapi luka di hati siapa yang tau???
kalau nak crita sal hati nih, sampai bila2 pon tak habis.aku wat stakat nih dulu...nanti aku update lagi.mata dah ngantok, tapi aku masih legi kena revise.so doakan aku larh esok!
tinggal setengah jam aje lagi. . .hurm...tak sangka umur aku nih dah semakin meningkat.memangla tau kita nih makin dewasa. setahun berlalu tak terasa pulak. pejam celik pejam celik 365 hari dah pergi macam tuh aje.
tahun yang sudah memang banyak cabarannya. tahun yang mendatang nih, tak tau pulak macam mana. hurm.kalau nak diikutkan, sepatutnya sekarang nih aku dah masuk Universiti.tapi au ambik jalan jauh. stay tingkatan 6 dan sekarang nih, tengah struggle nak betulkan path aku untuk masa hadapan. kawan-kawan yang lain semuanya dah jauh2. ada yang dulunya rapat, sekarang nih, jauh sangat2. ada yang dulu kenal kita, sekarang dah lupakan kita da. tapi aku tetap aku...takkan aku nak iktu semua org, kan? kalau orang lain masuk U, mungki perjalanan aku bukan kat situ buat masa ni. aku amik tingkatan 6 pun bersebab. itulah jalan terakhir aku untuk capai apa yang aku inginkan. lepas nih, aku kena cari jalan lain pulak. aku masih berpegang kepada kata2 "takka pernah gagal kalau sentiasa mencuba."
aku masih single. tapi aku rasa macam tak der tunggu sesiapa lagi. mungkin sebab aku realise aku tak perlu tunggu. sebab yang ditunggu2 tuh, tak tunggu aku balik.jadi, tak perlu larh aku nak tunggu macam orang bodoh aje kan?sekarang nih, hati nih, boleh tunggu lagi. tambahan lak, belum masanya aku nak sibukkan diri nih ngan benda2 macam tu.insya-ALLAH, masa aku akan sampai. itu, masa depan lar...
hari aku tido, esok hari aku dah 19 tahun.sekejap aje rasanya hidup nih. aku berazam nak hidup sebaik mungkin setiap saat selama aku masih bernyawa. ALLAH aje yang tau semua tuh. aku akan buat yang terbaik. insya-ALLAH...
esok (22.02) aku nak pergi celebrate my noble 19 ngan kengkawan...i mean, kali nih tak banyak larh kawan2 aku...semuanya dah jaoh.ingt ke tidak kat aku kat sini pun aku tak tau...
takper....i'm still alive...
so...happy birthday kat aku sendiri larh nih.hehehe...
